MoL 03


At the Mountains of Lunacy:

Lost Scenes Restored!

 

Murray the Alchemist: It's like pulling the stake out of Dracula's body: not a good idea, but some idiot's bound to try it.

 

Rod/Titan: At least they found the right guy for the job.

 

Murray the Alchemist: Why are you hanging around? At least that Charlie guy has better manners!

 

Rod/Titan: I have better armor.

 

Murray the Alchemist: Anyway, when Steve started on MoL as a game, it was shortly after 9/11. By the time he turned it into a story and put it in Light At the Edge of Darkness, that was old, so he dropped a topical gag about the enchanted mailbag:

 

It was like a bag of holding: we were amazed at the size of the things we pulled out of it. Unfortunately, it would only unload for authorized recipients. What was about as annoying, it would not let go of its bearer.

 

When we tried prying into it, we encountered a note:

Royal Property! DO NOT TAMPER with this item under penalty of death.

(signed) Ann Thraxx, Royal Postmistress.

P.S. Have a nice day!

 

Later, when the Zombie King mentioned creating zombie bureaucrats for governments, he added,

 

I wonder how Ann Thraxx is doing? Now, SHE was a piece of work!

 

The next major change was the trap at the pass. It was originally set for either daytime or nighttime. During the day, you'd get the same thing as in the story, though if they'd kept going they would've each had to save to get through safely. If they didn't...

 

(Name) got zapped! Get out the fork to see if the beggar's done!

 

or even

 

Yup! A little over-done, actually... Never mind the fork; this calls for butter and jelly.

 

If you lingered, you got

 

Soon heavy objects start raining down in front, back, and on top of you.

(Name) wins a free date with a large rock! I bet that hurt!

 

If you tried it at night, it was worse:

 

As we entered the widening in the pass, we noticed some burned spots. Closer examination revealed that several things--some of them probably wearing armor--had been reduced to briquets on this very spot. Was there a dragon here too?

Then we noticed a glint of light from atop the left side of the pass. Perhaps someone had a burning-glass set up there, where it could catch the sun--and any unwary travelers. We congratulated ourselves on being too clever for the trap.

Until we heard the howling from both sides, that is...

 

That pretty much always got you caught and stuck in the fortress dungeon.

 

Next up: There is no Sage!