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MoL 04

Page history last edited by PBworks 11 years, 11 months ago

At the Mountains of Lunacy:

There is no Sage!

 

Murray the Alchemist: The Sage was totally an invention for the short story. Originally, I gave the plot info that the Sage wound up with, though the narrator still loused it up. So how did I get there? Well, there was a cave, but not a Sage, and the whole thing used a "cutscene"--a black background with white text and maybe a picture:

 

Narrator: We discovered a small opening in the mountainside to the north. Inside it was as dark as this cutscene, only without the lettering. We also discovered some short blades set in the rock. They were fairly small and mostly a nuisance, though if one surprised you, you could probably lose a fair amount of skin and blood by starting upward, where much larger blades were poised to meet you.

 

Narrator: We weren't very happy with the accommodations, but the entrance was tricky enough that we realized we'd have to search for it all over again if we left and then tried to come back. Was it worth the bother? We took a vote.

 

You could just leave, which wasn't a good idea. But you could also keep going:

 

Narrator: It was impossible to pick our way through the blades without them returning the favor, but the damage was relatively minor.

 

Narrator: Suddenly a light flared, and we were confronted with a being whose major selling point was his lack of fur and fangs.

 

Narrator: Just to be safe, we stuck our silvered weapons in his face. He cackled with delight and recognition.

...

Narrator: What are you doing here?

Murray the Alchemist: What do you think I'm doing? The alchemy business is getting me down, so I'm studying to be a hobbit!

Narrator: Hobbit-holes are a lot nicer than this...

Murray the Alchemist: Yeah, well they don't have a bunch of drunken slob werewolves lowering the property values! Besides, I'm willing to work my way up. You just wait--once I get some curtains in here, and a nice round door, I'll have people practically throwing rings at me!

 

At least I got a line in edgewise sometimes...

 

Narrator: The upshot of the whole miniseries was that he had heard that the Mountains of Lunacy had a long-running werewolf problem, and he came here to try to harness lycanthropy to cure baldness, fill his wallet, and prop up his moribund social life.

Murray the Alchemist: Hey! Watch the editorializing!

...

Narrator: Now, the problem was--

Murray the Alchemist: Yeah, you accuse me of being long-winded! Lou [Garou] was so bad, I bet his mouth kept moving long after the rest of him died!

Narrator: (Ahem) We have of course disproved this little notion...

Murray the Alchemist: Now, I would have said the same things, only with flashes of wit and memorable insights!

Murray the Alchemist: Okay, okay! Don't hit me! I was getting to another point of interest...

Narrator: And it was, too: Murray had almost figured out a cure for his super-lycanthropy. Once he succeeded, we could beat some civilization back into them.

Narrator: The real problem, he told us, lay in getting the creatures to accept the cure. His original clever notion, a kind of anti-werewolf who could cure lycanthropes by biting them, hadn't worked out.

Murray the Alchemist: I hate getting a bunch of hair in my mouth! And it's a bit conspicuous when they aren't in wolf form...

Narrator: So now he wanted us to join him in the castle. The people who lived there now--well, they didn't so much live at all: they were undead, which was an unpopular career path at that time.

...

Narrator: Murray joined the party.

 

There was great rejoicing.

 

Murray the Alchemist: What I didn't like was that Lovaduc got to deliver my spiel if you didn't meet me first! Word for word, even!

 

Rod/Titan: Anyone who's been around you five minutes could do that. So are you done?

 

Murray the Alchemist: With this part, yeah. But I come back for more adventures in "A Paladin Called Shecky" and "Geeks Bearing Gifts."

 

Rod/Titan: "There was great rejoicing."

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